Back in the blue chair.

That was the fastest three weeks in life.  Apparently remote work and remote learning are filling my days and making them blend one into the other, such that the time between infusions was a fast blur.

In that short three weeks, policies changed at my infusion center.  I got a message last night that masks are required (that was a given for me, anyway).  I got off the parking garage elevator and was routed to the front door to have my forehead scanned to screen for fever.  I got upstairs, and there were few people waiting.  I was again taken into triage the back way, for my blood pressure, weight, and temperature for the second time.  Then I was directed into the infusion center, and to my surprise, I was given the private room that I had used during cold capping.  I was again impressed that they had managed to thin the crowd that is typically in the center.  I learned that they had moved to split staffing.  Four nurses are on at any given time instead of eight, and they are now working 12 hour shifts, to spread out patients.  Now, the nurses and infusions are going until 7:30pm.  I found it notable that, in a sea of people coming for critical appointments daily, my antibody infusions had never been rescheduled during the pandemic.  Does that speak to their efficient scheduling?  Or the necessity of this infusion to keep the cancer away? I made a note to think of an even better end of treatment gift for my infusion center nurses, as thank you is never enough.

The nurse asked if I have any lingering side effects.  I had to show her my lifted nails, some of which have turned black under the nail.  They are holding on, and haven't fallen off yet.  But the other day I took my hand off my bike handlebar and put it back, bumping my pinky nail.  And it snapped clean off, well below the nail tip.  They are horrible.  I need my nail life cycle to hurry up and be renewed.

I am also still shedding a ton.  More than during chemo, even though chemo ended four months ago. This was from today, wash day, which is better than the last wash day and still alarming.

I'm regaining the weight I lost during chemo, suddenly more rapidly.  I don't know if it's all the baking I've been doing, or the Tamoxifen (hormone blocker), but I'm told it is likely the latter.  I have been able to do more exercise lately, and indeed have needed it while we are on lockdown.  I need the movement, and fresh air.  The Tamoxifen is also likely the source of my muscle and joint aches and pains, and perpetual cramps.  It's going to be a long ten years... (ETA: Tamoxifen also affects my sleep habits, so I was able to score some Clorox wipes online at 4am when they stocked. Score.)

I'm still recovering from surgery, now two and a half months ago.  I am also stronger every day in that sense, but the scar tissue and fluid build up is still sidelining me.

But...aches and pains aside, it feels good to be on this side.  It feels good to have...11? 12? of 18 infusions behind me.  It feels good to be regaining strength and life.  It feels good to be spending quality time with my family, and not commuting several hours every day.  I'm doing a good job of living in the moment and feeling thankful.

And I'm doing a whole lot of baking.  Someone should take away my flour.